We had just gotten engaged – and I felt sick.
I very quickly went from extremely excited to negative feelings. A little uneasy, anxious, apprehensive.
What happened? I worried – “Why aren’t I excited anymore and what does this mean?”
I can tell you that this is completely normal and it’s nothing scary. It doesn’t mean you’re not happy to be getting married – in fact it most likely means that you’re worried about other things taking over . Other things are becoming more important than the fact that you’re in love and found your soul mate. That you want to make a life together and promise to be with them for the rest of your lives.
The huge promise didn’t scare me one bit. But all the magazines and the vast amount of things that you SHOULD have, & SHOULD do – the endless list of things we didn’t want and that were not us. That scared me.
We BOTH felt it, it’s not just a Bride / Bridezilla thing and James loves to be involved in planning every inch of our wedding. But we thought – “Isn’t this supposed to be FUN?!”
And it really is! You just need to breathe, and take a minute whether that’s an actual minute or a month or heck even a year to ENJOY being engaged. It’s a really special period in your lives and sometimes we don’t even realise it.
You know when you first get engaged – you run out and buy every wedding magazine on the shelves? Then you sit with your Mother, Sister and Girlfriends flicking through the pages. You’re all “ooing” and “ahhing”…
We do this don’t we, but we don’t really consider what WE want.
Take a minute to adjust to the notion that you’re getting married and for that excitement to settle – because for Us (and so many other couples) without it meant jumping to decisions and regretting them. It can mean saying “What was I thinking?!” later down.
SO, we relaxed about it, enjoyed the period of being an engaged couple, and enjoyed deciding what we want for our wedding.
Could we agree on anything? NO. Not at first.
James wanted bales of hay and I wasn’t into that. I wanted a minimal stylish kind of wedding dress and James couldn’t understand why I didn’t want a Princess pouffe dress. It was actually a fun process of bouncing ideas and vetoing things until we came to some amazing discoveries!
We came to compromises and that word – compromise – it makes you think that it’s not going to be any where near the wedding of your dreams! That is FAR from the truth. Because compromising means you’re both happy, you’re both delighted and through this our wedding plans really suit us both SO much more than all the millions of ideas we’ve been through over the last few years.
Aside from actually loving the planning process now and not feeling one ounce of stress or overwhelm, I can honestly tell you that our plans now are truly the wedding of our dreams!
No it’s not an insane budget, but it’s filled with love and pretty. It’s filled with US. We learnt that you don’t actually need a crazy budget to have the wedding of your dreams – you just have to know what you WANT – for real.
A wedding which you will look back on and cherish without regrets. Because I can tell you that all of those plans before in the first stages of excitement when we got engaged – I would have regretted them SO much.
As we celebrate TEN YEARS together this November, of love at first sight and a whole decade of never going a day without speaking to each-other – I don’t care that we are still engaged and not yet married. We don’t feel the pressure. We’re completely enjoying it without any stress and isn’t that kind of wonderful?